Bystander Intervention

Being an effective bystander

Why do I need bystander skills?ĚýHaving the skills to address problems, reduce harm, and deal with concerning situations that we witnessĚýis a critical way to contribute to a positive culture on campus. These are skills that we can all use throughout our lifetime in almost any context.

People want to help

  • Helping is core to being human and most people are highly motivated to look out for each other.
  • We help for lots of different reasons like empathy, concern, social expectations, Karma, guilt, and moral obligation. At different times, in different situations, we might be motivated to help for different reasons.

You can reduce harm in the moment

  • It’s usually not possible to solve everything in a situation where someone needs help, but small actions can have a big impact.

People can get better at helping

  • You can expand your skills and develop more strategies for intervening that are both a good fit for the situation and a good fit for you.

Bystander Awareness

Effective strategies for helping

There are many different kinds of situations where people need help, but there are a few key strategies that work in almost any context.

Ěý ĚýBe DirectĚý
Some situations are straightforward, like when someone falls on the stairs or clearly needs help and can’t help themselves, and being direct may be your best option.

ĚýBe Creative,ĚýUse DistractionĚý
Sometimes being direct has the potential to backfire, especially if tempers are high or people have been drinking, or if you’re worried you might be reading the situation wrong. Creating a distraction to draw attention away from a problem or interrupting a bad interaction can be very effective.

ĚýBe Creative,ĚýGo CovertĚý
This is the art of flying under the radar. This strategy can be really useful when you don’t want to make people mad or risk embarrassing them, or draw attention to what you are doing. A successful “covert” intervention might not look like an intervention at all to someone else watching the situation.

ĚýBe Resourceful, Get Other HelpersĚý
Sometimes the best strategy is to alert others of the situation. This may mean getting someone who is better positioned to help or who has the authority to address the problem. It may also just mean getting more people around you to recognize the problem and join in helping.

Ěý ĚýNow vs. LaterĚý
Sometimes helping doesn’t have to be limited to right there in the moment. In situations that aren’t emergencies, if we’re acquainted with the people involved, we have the option to talk to them at a later time. In some situations, the most effective time to act may be later, not on the spot. You may want time to gather your thoughts or think about what to say.

Situations:

Restaurant at night

Person who has had too much to drink

It’s almost closing time at a bar where you’ve been having a fun time hanging out with your friends. There’s a person who has clearly had too much to drink and you saw her friends leave without her about an hour ago after they had a loud disagreement. She’s talking to a guy who you haven’t noticed until now and he’s trying to help her get her coat on as he’s leading her to the door.

Evaluate the situation:

  • You don’t know either of these people, but trust your instincts. If it seems sketchy, it probably is sketchy.
  • Ask your friends if they see what you’re seeing, “Does that seem a little weird to you?”

Strategies for helping in the moment:

Ěý ĚýBe Direct:

  • Focusing on her, “Hey, we saw your friends leave before. We’ll help you get home.” Direct her away from the guy and either make sure she gets safely to her place or, if she is clear about where she lives and you feel ok about her leaving alone, help her call a friend or call for a ride and wait with her until they arrive.
  • Focusing on him, “That’s ok, we’ll help her get home from here.”
    • If he persists, you might ask him, “What’s your plan?” “Are you two friends?”

Ěý ĚýGo Covert:

  • Pretend like you know her and act really happy to see her again. Say that you want her to come with you and your friends to a party that’s not far away. Once you leave the bar, help her get home safely.
  • If it’s difficult to separate her from the guy, you and your friends can insist on helping them both get home safely. By walking with them, you’ll be able to get more information so you can better assess the situation and decide what’s best to do next.

Lecture chairs in a class room

Classroom comments

During a lively class discussion, another student makes a sweeping negative comment about people who have recently immigrated to the U.S. You feel pretty uncomfortable, but no one in the room speaks up about it, including the instructor. You are pretty sure that some people in the room might feel attacked or defensive.

Evaluate the situation:

  • Sometimes comments like these come as a surprise and the conversation moves on before you have a chance to say or do something. Even if you have time, it may be unclear whether the people who’ve been targeted would want you to intervene.
    • According to research conducted at Penn State, people who’ve been targeted in this way report that the most helpful action bystanders can take is to let them know you don’t agree with the problematic comment/behavior.ĚýThis same research indicated that ignoring the situation was the least helpful thing bystanders could do, even if the good intention was to keep from drawing more attention to the negative situation.

Strategies for helping in the moment:

Ěý ĚýBe Direct:

  • It isn’t necessary to be confrontational to be effective. Possible things to say in response could be:
    • “What do you mean?”
    • “I don’t agree with that. What’s your evidence for that?”
    • “I’m not sure I heard you right. Could you say that again?”
    • “That’s messed up.”

Strategies for helping after the fact:

  • After class, connect with someone who might have felt targeted. Let them know that you don’t agree with what was said. Ask them if they’re ok. If possible, let them know that you will speak up if someone says something like this again in class.
  • Talk with the instructor. Ask if they would be able to address the comment the next time the class meets; ask them to talk outside of class to the student who made the comment.
  • Protected class harassment that is committed by a CU community member is a violation of university policy. If the instructor is unable to take action to address this behavior, consider reporting the incident to the

Students eating in C4C dining

Frustrated person in line

You’re waiting in line for breakfast in the dining hall. It’s a busy time and the line is moving slowly. The person in front of you seems frustrated and when their turn comes to put in their order, they make a really mean comment to the server. At first the server looks surprised, but then they just put their head down without saying anything and work on cooking the order.

Evaluate the situation:

  • You don’t know either of these people, but you heard the mean comment clearly and you saw that it had an impact on the server.
  • You eat in this dining hall almost every morning and this dining staff member is usually there serving food at this station. You haven’t noticed the person who made the comment before, but you might run into them in the future. Whatever you do, you’ll likely be having interactions with both people again at some point.
  • You imagine that the server might be embarrassed by the comment and you don’t want to make things worse or draw more attention to the situation, butĚýin fact, research shows that ignoring a situation where someone is being verbally abused is perceived as the least helpful bystander behavior, even if the intention is to avoid additional embarrassment for the person being targeted.

Strategies for helping in the moment:

Ěý ĚýBe Direct:

  • Talk to the person who made the comment. It isn’t necessary to be confrontational. In fact, using a kind tone is likely to be more effective. Possible things to say in response could be:
    • “Ouch. That was harsh.”
    • “It’s totally frustrating that the lines are so long, but that’s not the fault of the people who work here.”
    • "Are you ok? You seem really stressed out.”
  • When your turn comes to put in your order, let the server know that you heard the comment, it wasn’t ok, and you’re sorry the other person said it.

Strategies for helping after the fact:

  • Talk to the dining staff person at a different time. Mention the circumstance and what you heard, and let them know it was messed up.
  • Talk to a staff supervisor. Let them know what happened and who the comment was made to. The supervisor can connect with the server and let them know you noticed and thought the mean comment was a problem.